- Chapter 1 -

Living with the Dissonance

A Confession-
I am an environmentalist but… I drive a full sized pick up named Shelly. Usually somewhere in the realm of 500km/week.

For anyone who’s taken some base level psychology you probably already have an understanding of Cognitive Dissonance, but let’s refresh:

Cognitive Dissonance explains the uncomfortable feeling when our brains try to crash two opposing views or values together into the one true path. Now opposing views/values are nothing new – I mean I used to think mashed potatoes was the best way to eat potatoes possible – and then I found brown butter smashed hash browns and I had to do some really deep reflection. The problem arises in the mental gymnastics our brains go through to arrive at a new normal.

There are a few standard paths so let’s illustrate with an example:

• Belief 1: I don’t like cats
• New info: My brother and his GF have 2 cats and when they cuddle up and purr in my arms it’s pretty freaking cute.

You can see the dissonance… right

Now I have a few options

1. Change my view all together – ie CATS ARE GREAT
2. Justify it based on the situation – I like my brother and his GF so they must just have cool cats, not like those other feline monsters.
3. Add something new to the puzzle to make this ok – better buy another dog to confirm my love of dogs is still superior
4. DENY! – these aren’t real cats, they’re small feline featured dogs.

OK, OK – but why does this matter. At the risk of getting way too heavy too fast lets look at the scenario of climate change.

• Test subject A: Drives his truck to work, has a family, loves to fish.
• Confronted with: Driving his truck to work is putting his family in danger and making it harder to fish.

This is where you see the mental gymnastics start, so test subject A might relieve his dissonance with the following thoughts:

1. Well, I guess we should sell our truck and move closer to work
2. MY truck is ok
3. I will carpool with my neighbour
4. Climate change is a conspiracy and everyone who believes in it is the worst

Sounds familiar hey? In case it seems like this problem is too easy to solve let’s add a human element.

Andrew (formerly known as Test Subject A) lives at the bend in the river, next to his favourite fishing hole. The calming rush of the river is the lullaby that helps put his children to bed at night. He and his wife, Amanda, moved to their quaint river home to help calm their eldest child’s crippling anxiety. Oh, and the home itself, Andrew built it with his late father, it now serves as a beautiful reminder of the relationship between father and son. Andrew and Amanda own a landscape company, the truck is how they transport their tools and supplies to their various work sites, earning the money they need to feed their family and provide their children with the life they desire.

Given the additional context, how would you proceed? If you move, you’re giving up the things you love, the river, the home you built with your hands, the memories with your father, the well being of your child. If you give up your truck you can no longer do your job properly, which is how you feed your kids. That said, if you keep driving your truck you kids might not have a planet to live on, and the river might flood unexpectedly and take out your house. This is where the real conundrums show up, what should Andrew do at this point?

Now personally, I’m a big fan of option 3, chose something to add to the scenario that helps fit what you used to believe with what you now know. This option allows you to stretch your creativity and find something that fits your lifestyle. In this instance, carpooling doesn’t make sense, unless Andrew’s neighbour works for the landscape company, but maybe he could start growing his own garden and eating more of the fish he catches himself. A different way to decrease his carbon footprint.

That said, I want everyone to appreciate that each individual will be different. Some people will simply choose to ignore the issue all together. There is no right answer and as we all work together to solve the big complex problems, we all face, understanding why people behave the way they do is a crucial step to finding lasting solutions.

Thought Break

---

Try to remember a time where you experienced Cognitive Dissonance. It might be hard to recognize at first, your brain is sneaky and tries to hide it from you when it can. When you’ve found an example review how you responded with fresh understanding, did you ignore, accept, excuse or add? Why do you think you chose that particular path?
Want to share your experience? I'd love to here from you.

---

Stay tuned for Chapter 2, embracing the dissonance where I will dive into the process of making changes little steps at a time.

As much as cognitive dissonance impairs our ability to change, it can also be harnessed to help us improve. The best part, we get to focus on the easy changes first. The things we actually don’t mind giving up.
  Choose your dissonance scenario – so you’ve come across a pickle. Your brain is in overdrive trying to sort through the dissonance. The following thoughts rush through your head.

• It’s not going to be as simple as changing your actions, there are too many things in the way.
• While justifying the situation today is possible, it won’t always be possible for years to come.
• You could always just deny that you even found out about the pickle, but that will have other consequences.
• GAHHH!!! Where does that leave me???

Perhaps there’s a way to add something new to the scenario to fix it! But where do you even begin?

As a society we are continuously coming up against big, complex problems, think climate change and systematic racism. Let’s walk through some steps to turn your internal battle into the motivations for positive change.
 
Step 1: Understand the motivator
What is motivating the need for change? Are you trying to be more inclusive? Are you looking to change a behaviour? Are you trying to reduce your carbon footprint? (Yup, that’s right, ending systematic racism can have a direct positive impact on your carbon footprint).

Various choices could accomplish all three of these desired outcomes. Choosing to read books by indigenous or black authors. Having open and frank discussions about racism and privilege with your family and friends. Donating money or time to a charity you believe in.

However, if the motivation doesn’t line up with your beliefs, you’re probably going to stop before this becomes a habit. If you never read books to begin with, it’s probably not the best place to start…

There may be more than one motivation for you, but there’s always a primary. One that fits best with the story you tell yourself. Take the time to understand that story, it will help you make lasting change.

Step 2: Understand the non-negotiables
What are you not willing to give up? What parts of your life cause you joy? What things would make it completely unfeasible to live your life? I find it’s best to think about these as activities and people and then make the inferences to the changes you are willing to make.

Reminder, when I say non-negotiable, I do not mean inconvenient. I mean things that would have a large impact on your mental health or ability to do your work. Ie, if you need a truck for your job it might not be a good first step to sell your car.

1. If you don’t have enough disposable income, you might not choose to make monthly contributions
2. Maybe you have an all-time favourite author who comes from privilege
3. Public speaking gives you crippling anxiety.

Now that you know what won’t work for you right now.

Step 3: Look at the available options
Can you volunteer your time in the community? Can you read a book from an underprivileged perspective every second book?

Can I have conversations with friends? Can I educate myself on various issues? Can I lobby my local government for meaningful change?

Or maybe, for this possible scenario there is no direct substitute. Where else could you make a change? Maybe there are other areas of your life that make more sense… Maybe I could ensure my purchases were from companies with inclusion policies, maybe I could vote…

Step 4: Match available options with possible sacrifices
What’s it going to be? How will you embrace the dissonance? What will be your first step to the change you want to make?
Remember, starting small doesn’t mean you don’t have big plans. Maybe the very first step is watching Black Panther with fresh eyes. But these little changes matter.

A friend of mine has always spoken out after hearing an offensive joke, it’s something I’ve always admired. A quick reminder from someone in the direct friend group has huge power. It takes something from being “politically correct” to making a real difference in global perceptions. For me, reading books written from a different cultural perspective began as a concerted effort to understand, but now I seek out new stories.

Find the pieces that work for you, share your ideas with your friends and don’t be afraid to add more steps as you become more comfortable. Lastly, don't forget to make this fit you. We all have our part to play and their are so many ways to make a difference, like Amy Poehler says "Good for you, not for me".
 
What’s your pickle? How did you remedy it? Do you remember the steps you to make your decision? Or maybe you’re in the middle of a new set of dissonance and want to kick start the change. Get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.
 
PS – this same logic can be used to help market your product/service. Want your customer’s to start using a new feature? Think about what little steps they are going to readily accept. Don’t focus on the main value you are trying to provide, focus on the things that they care about or that will be an easy reason to change.